Meet Danielle Faulkner, Dia Domino and playwright. She is one of the biggest conversation drivers in the Dia Community, and for good reason—there’s nothing she won’t talk about. Read on to learn about Danielle’s approach to fashion and life.
I grew up on the eastern shore of Maryland. But it’s a really, really small part of Maryland. I’m in Baltimore now. I came across the bridge for college and then just decided to stay. So I’ve been here almost six, seven years.
I always felt like, ‘Oh, you’re this size, you’re not supposed to wear that.’ But it’s no big deal. The world’s not going to stop.
Style Icons
Growing up, I had, I guess you would say, a typical black Southern family. Going to church was a fashion show—that was the only time I would dress up. You would see everything at my church, from big hats to people who were just coming back from partying. I loved the wife of the pastor. She wasn’t from here, so what she wore was totally different from everyone else on the eastern shore. I always thought she looked so pretty and so put together. My grandmother, who raised me, is a teacher. Teachers dress a certain way, so I would just wear stuff my grandmother would wear. I had a set of pearls when I was 10 and my cardigan game has always been on point.
Now, I tend to go more practical, just because I’m in the city and I’m always in a rush. It’s more about function and being practical. I don’t really consider myself to have a specific style because what I wear is dependent on my mood. Now, I’m at a place with Dia&Co where I can try different things and say, “Oh, okay, I can wear that.” So I’m still trying to figure out my style and what it could be. But it’s still very classic, with that Southern mentality of cardigans with penny loafers, and jeans pressed with a crease. The fit-and-flare dress. Yeah, it’s still that, but I hope it’s a little bit elevated. In my head it is.
The Community
Growing up, I always felt like, “Oh, you’re this size, you’re not supposed to wear that.” But it’s no big deal. The world’s not going to stop. I think that’s sometimes really hard for us to get over mentally. In the Dia Community, we all give ourselves permission to at least try. We’re not saying you have to go walk outside with it if you don’t want to, but at least try it on and see how you feel. There’s a nice freedom in the community—just the idea that you could try something and see if you like it instead of just saying no. I think that’s a good thought process.
I’ve started small this year with trying to showcase my curves more. I got a pencil skirt earlier in the summer, so I’ve been wearing that more and more. I posted some pictures in the group for support because I’m used to hiding or camouflaging my curves. Pencil skirts show everything. In a dream world, I’d like to be able to wear a bodycon dress, no cardigan, no jacket—just the dress. That would be the holy grail. But, for right now, it’s the pencil skirt first.
I was raised in the mindset of, ‘You dress for the position you want, not the one you have.’
Professional Life
I work in development, so I’m raising money for other people. A lot of my job is giving presentations, meeting people, or networking, so I always have to be thinking about style. I was raised in the mindset of, “You dress for the position you want, not the one you have.” So I always think of that, even on the weekends, like, “Who am I going to bump into?” I can’t look like a slob, because that might be someone I’m working with or someone who I’m going to ask for money. I always have to be dressed, and that’s how style plays out in my head. Like, “Okay, I guess we’re going out to the movies. But there’s the potential that I could see a donor there. So I can wear jeans, but I can’t wear holey jeans.”
I was trained in playwriting. And for close to 10 years, that was my full-time job. There’s a rant in my head that I can’t shake, and then I write it down. I stopped writing professionally because I needed health insurance, so I started working for non-profits and writing grants. I’m always still in playwriting mode, but I do it more after hours. I have a writing group that I write with, so we go to local theaters and write as an entity, then try to get it produced either on our own or in small playhouses. I can feel my voice changing as a black woman and a black writer because there are a lot of stories that aren’t being told. So I find myself thinking about inclusivity, but it doesn’t stop me from writing what I want to write—I just have that lens when I’m writing. I try not to write in a way that’s size-specific. I think any story can be played by anybody, as long as they’re a good actor. I try not to limit myself in those terms because then I’m stereotyping—and who’s got time for that?
I think I’m one of the bigger women in the Dia Community, so I felt like that had to be represented. And I was willing to be the one to do that.
Dia Domino
I was a customer for a while and then I stopped. When I came back, Dia&Co had started this program. I think people assume I’ve always been a member and I’ve always loved Dia&Co—and it’s like, “Nope.” I paused it for a good while and then decided to come back. So this is all a choice, and I think everyone has to look at it like you’re choosing to be in this group—you’re choosing to participate. I love the ladies. I try not to have my favorites, but I do. They’re all really helpful and supportive, and it’s just really nice. Being part of the group makes me appreciate my body more.
I applied to be a Dia Domino because, this year, I’m saying yes to anything. I saw the application and thought, “Okay. Let me just fill it out and see what happens.” I think I’m one of the bigger women in the Dia Community, so I felt like that had to be represented. Some people think, “Oh, plus size is just 12 to 20.” And it’s like, “Nope. Hi. I’m 34 sometimes.” So you’ve got to have that representation too. And I was willing to be the one to do that.
Life doesn’t stop once you’re that big—and I never stopped loving my body at any size.
Weight-Loss Journeys & Body Positivity
I’ve said before in the group that I’ve had weight-loss surgery. I was hesitant to apply to become a Dia Domino because I didn’t want anyone to think I was promoting it. For me, it was about my health and needing a tool to help me get to a healthier version of myself. At my highest, I was over 600 pounds, and I loved being that size. Now, I’m close to 315, and I still love every pound of me. At either end, I’ve loved every bit of every curve. I had a life at 600 pounds. I dated, I traveled, I lived in London. Life doesn’t stop once you’re that big—and I never stopped loving my body at any size.
Photos as Therapy
I came up with this idea with my therapist to build self-appreciation and self-love. I take one photo a day and I don’t critique it. I take it for what it is. It’s just a moment to exist and be okay with it. When I look in the mirror, I’m usually critiquing my hair or my lipstick or thinking, “Oh, I need to fix that.” You can say all this bad stuff about yourself because that’s pretty easy, but try not to do it and see what happens. I didn’t like it in the beginning, but slowly and surely, I’ve started to see less bad stuff. It’s definitely been a process, but it’s a part of my day that I enjoy. I just focus in and take that moment. Now, I have a representation of that with a photo.
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